Please take the time to watch the video I have posted above. I heard this song on the radio the other day and I almost cried. I felt like I should be singing this song, like these were my words. Let me explain....
In a time when the economy has taken the biggest hit since the Great Depression, unemployment has skyrocketed, homes are being foreclosed on, and families are losing everything, I am one of the millions who have been effected. Along with poor financial choices of my own, I am now feeling like the biggest failure of my life. I see others struggle but manage to get by, and I beat myself up thinking of all of the things I could have done to prevent myself from the situation I am in now. I am not the only person in my position by far, but it is really lonely down here at the bottom.
I could go on and on about how badly I feel lately and how discouraging the job market can be but you know that already. We all feel badly and wish that our individual situations were a little better or more stable. Recently for me, I have found hope and peace amidst the chaos.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine shared the story of her battle with cancer. This woman is one of the most amazing women I know. She said that she thanked God for trusting her with His plan. Knowing that there had to be some reason why she would develop such a terrible disease, knowing that it was a part of God's bigger plan someway and somehow, she actually thanked God for trusting her with the task. Wow! This was shared during a series on Habakkuk at my church, Paradox. Habakkuk has long been a book that I have found peace and refuge in (could you tell by the name of my blog? lol) so I was so excited for it. I did not leave church dry eyed one week of the three week series. Then, I hear this amazing song. God was really trying to hammer this one into my brain.To indirectly quote my pastor from the Habakkuk series: Life is full of dips. When you are in a dip, that is when you have a choice. You can question your faith or abandon it, you can fake your way through it, or you can grab a hold of God and hold on for the ride knowing that while it won't be easy, you will come out better and stronger for it.
I'm telling you now, this is one roller coaster ride that I am scared senseless of, but I am holding on tight and I will not let go! Just like the song above says, I know that God has a plan for me. This isn't the end of the story. If this was it, if I was just supposed to struggle in every aspect of my life and no good could come of it to anyone, then that would be a pointless existence. Nothing God does or allows is pointless. There is a reason and a plan for everything. His perfect plan! I want to see what it is. I will wait and see. I encourage you to do the same. Keep strong in your faith and hold on tight. Yell and scream and ask Him the hard questions. Tell Him you don't understand. Once you've got it all out of you, grasp on to Him and don't let go, even if it gets worse before it gets better. He has a plan for you, you just have to stick around to see it.
I'd like to close with a verse that I found the other night. I was in my bedroom asking God when this plan was gonna roll into action because I am pretty impatient and I'd like to get back on track and feel like things are good again. Ha! Like He was going to tell me that He'd fit me in on Tuesday at 11:45am to fix it all...lol. This is the answer I got...
"But I the Lord will speak what I will, and it shall be fulfilled without delay. For in your days...I will fulfill whatever I say, declares the Sovereign Lord" Ezekiel 12:25
Patience. It will be fulfilled. His perfect plan will all fall into place in His timing. Time to take my watch off and trust in Him. Time to focus only on Him, and who He is, not what He can do for me. Time to jump in to my Abba Fathers arms and trust Him to take care of me, and He will. It may not turn out my way or be done in my time, but I know that when this is all over, that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. That I will have learned and grown into a new, wiser, better, stronger person, in life and in faith. And hey, maybe I can help encourage some others along the way.
"There is hope for me yet, because God won't forget all the plans He's made for me. I'll have to wait and see. He's not finished with me yet" Brandon Heath.
Love, Kelly
A special thank you to Craig McGlassion and Marie Izzi for your wisdom and inspiration.
