Reflections

So here we are, at the end of 2009. Another year has passed. An extremely challenging year to say the least. 2009 was a year of loss, of heartache, and of tears. It was a year of leaning, listening, and learning. God definitely tested me for most of the year on my obedience, my ability and willingness to submit and to lean on Him, and my patience. After losing my home and pretty much everything I own, the demise of relationships, and the discovery of a very real and a very serious situation going on in my midst, I was left hopeless and broken by autumn. As the leaves fell so did my hopes and dreams. When I felt alone and like I would never recover, God showed up in a very real way in my life. I was bombarded with scriptures, books, television, and radio all on the subject of the book of Ruth. I read Ruth over and over again. I read commentaries, listen to preachers. I soaked in the book of Ruth over the span of a few weeks. I leaned on God. I listened for His voice. I learned from Him what He was trying to show me. I identified myself with both Naomi and Ruth. I found comfort and peace in this book of the Bible, like I never had before.
I was comforted by the fact that although I was alone and my dreams had been shattered, Jesus was my kinsman-redeemer. He would claim me as His every time, and take care of me, and love me. It took weeks of God shoving this story in my face for me to realize that while the dreams I had made were shattered, the dreams He had weren't. I let go of the plans I had made for myself and opened myself up to the plans which He had made for me. It wasn't too long before my earthly Boaz came along and I realized that all of my pain was taking me to where I was meant to be. That I had to go through the things I went through to make it to my destination. God showed me that He doesn't make mistakes, and that even when you are left with no hope in the bottom of a dark pit screaming out "Why God?", He is there. He may not answer right away, but He isn't ignoring you, He's asking you to wait. And if you do, oh! If you wait patiently, and you trust, things you would had never imagined for yourself will come to be. You will end up with better than you ever imagined!
So as I move into 2010 with my Boaz by my side, I will be thanking and praising my heavenly Boaz for the amazing work He has done in my life and in me this year. I will thank Him for the challenges and the hardships I endured in '09, for they have all brought me to where I am today. And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.